Gimme an H, F and M!

Christ almighty, if it's not one thing, it's another in this house.

Because it wasn't enough that I was getting a cerclage this week, Jack also got sick for the first time in months.

Sunday when we got back from our vacation, he felt hot to the touch. He started running a fever during the day and by Sunday night -- conveniently during the Pearl Jam concert at Lollapalooza -- it spiked to 104.5 and I called the pediatrician. Who told me at one point, "I can barely hear you." That would be because I am calling from the middle of 160,000 people. While my child is at home. Running the highset fever of his life. Nice Mommy aren't I?

We got it stabilized with Motrin, but it's been with him off and on and averaging around 100 since then. He was also grabbing his tongue, which when you can't speak, apparently translates to "Mom, my throat really effing hurts."

So we took him to the doctor today. We enetered the exam room smiling and happy and the second the pediatrician walked in, the screamfest commenced. Because I can't lift him, Josh was the lucky holder of the hysterical child. He was lunging for me during the exam of his ears and I thought his head might actually make a 360-degree rotation when the doctor took a throat swab for strep.

During the screaming, the doctor conveyed to us that the fever and the throat led him to a common diagnosis for this time of year: Hand, Foot and Mouth. It's spread through saliva and poop and the playground is a perfect hangout for this little germ. But it's not to be confused with Hand and Mouth, which strikes cattle. And while Jack likes to tell us the cow goes "MOOOOOOOO" he's never milked one or even seen one up close for that matter.

He has sores on the back of his little throat, but no signs on the hands or feet. The virus should run its course in a few days and he'll be back to normal. It's also not a danger to me or Baby2 if I catch it, but hopefully my exposure is limited since I was gone for a week.

But after the exam, he was clinging to me as if he wanted to crawl inside my skin. I felt so bad that he was so scared. He was laying his head on my shoulder and just slobbering and snotting all over it. He finally calmed down when we left the room and by the time we got to the car, he was all smiles again.

Can't wait for that 18-month appointment next week! I may have to bring a tranquilizer dart.