There's a fire in my heart
So let's review.
Yesterday, since you know, I GOT FIRED, I took Jack to the playground. It was 75 degrees here. Bee-you-ti-ful spring day. What a great day to get fired!
Today, I hung out with Jack in the morning and then Grandma watched him while I worked on "new business ventures" upstairs.
What's that you ask? New business ventures? But what about the crying? And the hiding under the covers? And the depression, my God, the depression.
No, no! You see, that would be for people who liked their jobs and were unceremoniously shit-canned. I absolutely hated my job. With the white-hot passion of the sun. The dread of html coding and page design and mind-numbing busy work hung heavy over my life.
Oh but the benefits were large. Free health insurance. I worked on the couch while Jack played on the floor in front of me. I went to baby classes with internet on my phone and stayed in touch with the office. I got in free to a certain sport's games.
I would love to tell you more. But oh, woe is me, I have to have an attorney review the agreement they are using to extort my severance pay. I pretty much can't say anything disparaging about anyone or anything even remotely related to this sports league. For the rest of my natural life. And beyond. I bet they could carbon-date the blog posts in the year 2159.
And trust me, the stories I can tell! I once got reprimanded for going to sleep at 10 p.m. and not being available online. Did I mention the supervisor not a single person in the company gets along with? Oh my. The crazy, it surrounded me. But wait, that might be disparaging. I would never disparage anyone. I love everyone. Let's all build a campfire and roast marshmallows! I love crazy. Did you know Justin Timberlake was actually going to call his single, "Bringing Crazy Back," but then changed his mind?
I know! Crazy!
And we all know about people who got fired for their blogs. But have we covered the topic of bloggers being gagged by severance agreements? Give me liberty or give me death! First Amendment! The best defense against libel is truth! This is truthiness at its finest!
So no, no sadness here for the job reassignment. I like to think I have been reassigned to the department of Stay At Home Mothering. The pay is lousy, but you get to nap on the job! And play in the sandbox. And pick up worms off the sidewalk. And while I deal with a lot of shit in this new job, it's nothing compared to the shit I was taking at the old one. But as someone I used to work with once pointed out, even shit starts to taste good after it's been forced down your throat enough times. And it tasted good! I liked it!
But no more. Today is a new day. A day I felt completely calm and didn't have a sense of dread following me like a dark cloud. Today I worked on a new venture that will make money for our family and I actually enjoyed what I was doing. What a novel concept.
And no, it's not a Mommy Blog Novel. But it is something baby related. And I am excited about it! So stay tuned for details in the coming weeks.
I am adding a thought here as I post. This had to be edited about 30 times before I sent it live because I had to make sure I was not disparaging anyone. It kills me to self-edit. Because this shit is good. You would laugh til you cried, because it was just so unbelievable.
I shall leave you with one of my better tales from the trenches. I made a mistake last week and after I was belittled, via Instant Messenger no less, the person (who was a supervisor) finished with, "You make us all look like idiots."
That's me, making everyone look like idiots for six years! Man, I should make that the new tagline for this blog!