The key to the kingdom

If it's not one thing, it's another around here.

Last night, while I was out running an errand, the car would not start in the store parking lot. It was eleventy-hundred degrees below zero and there I am with a car that would not start. The key wouldn't turn. I kept trying it, but nothing. Nada. I seriously looked around inside the car at one point to make sure it was actually, you know, not someone else's SUV. But there was my carseat and a set of links, so unless there's some Bizarro Amy out there with Bizarro Jack and Josh and a weird little parallel universe, it was indeed my vee-hick-co.

After calling my husband FIFTEEN times before he finally realized, "Wow, Amy has been gone a really long time. Maybe I should go get my phone from upstairs and see where she is," he was able to drop Jack off with our neighbor and come and rescue me. Of course he tried to start the car while I stood there rolling my eyes. Like he had the magic touch. Please.

The roadside assitance people were nice enough to walk me through a few things and then announced we would have to have the car towed. The nearest Acura dealership was 200 miles away. No, really. So we had them tow the car. Nearly 200 miles. That driver must have been making some fat cash for that little errand.

Of course this delayed us leaving Bloomington by two hours. Jack finally got to sleep at 9 p.m. -- two hours after his normal bedtime. Super! Cranky babies are my favorite in a crisis.

Once we got home to Chicago, I realized we would have to go out to the dealership, a mere hour away from our house, to pick up a loaner car or our own car if it was fixed. So I sent a note to my boss that I would have to be out Friday. I got shit for that today. Whatever. You know, not blogging about work really cuts into my material, because let me tell you, I could fill a novel with things that go on. But we all know Thou Shalt Not Blog About Work.

Where was I?

Ahh yes. This was NOT a good time for the car to be out of commission. Jack's birthday party is tomorrow and we had a million errands to run in preparation. It's also the coldest damn weekend of the last 10 years in Chicago. Not that that has anything to do with the car being on the fritz, but I thought it merited mention.

So we're running hither and yon, party prepping, SUV-less. Have you ever gone party shopping with a two-door car and a carseat that covers the acreage of the United States in your backseat? I mean I know we somehow survived with our little car before, but I have no recollection of how it happened. I feel like Fred Flinstone in this thing now -- cut me some holes in the floor and I can just power us by running.

Tomorrow, roughly 40 of Jack's nearest and dearest will celebrate his first birthday here at our home. He'll taste his first cake. And ice cream. He'll probably get way too much stuff and hopefully he will have the time of his life.

I will probably spend the two hours rocking back and forth in the corner, wailing, "My baaaaaaabbbbbeeeeeeee is 1!" At least I still have a few more days until his actual birthday to get used to this fact.

Oh, and the car? Yeah it wasn't broken at all. The security system disabled my key. If I had only turned the wheel while turning the key it would have worked. HELLO ACURA MAN AT THE ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE CENTER. Why did you not tell me that? I mean clearly, asking me if I could turn the wheel, and me saying, "Yes, a little. It's not locked or anything," didn't make him think to TELL me this little trick.

Argh.