What a difference a year makes

I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about what happened a year ago tomorrow. It's been 365 days since I found out I had an incompetent cervix and had the surgery that saved my pregnancy, and ultimately, my little boy.

I have found myself looking at Jack several times this week, thanking fate for intervening. For having an ultrasound at the right time. For having the right doctor on call to perform the surgery. For the cerclage doing its job.

A year ago today, I was still a naive pregnant woman who believed the worst of my pregnancy was behind me with the morning sickness and exhaustion a thing of the past. I was looking forward to wearing cute maternity clothes and decorating a nursery.

A year ago tomorrow, everything changed. I knew we could lose Jack before we even knew him. I learned to live my life in weeks -- first getting to 24, then 28, then 32, finally 36 and full-term. I spent my days in bed, worried that every twinge was the beginning of the end.

I literally can't believe it's been only a year. I feel like a decade has passed. At the time, every day seemed interminably long. It seemed like each week was a month.

But since Jack was born, time has taken on a life of its own. Somehow, my baby is going to be eight months old next week. How is that possible? I still remember bringing him home from the hospital and the preemie diapers fitting his little butt.

I think this weekend I'll be hugging Jack a little tighter and kissing him a little more. I know how lucky we are to have him. I hope other women out there in my situation can be as fortunate.