Dear Schmoopies

Dear Couple Who Sat In Front of Me at the Radiohead Concert Last Night:

I am sure that you love each other. I am sure you love Radiohead. I however, do not love you loving each other during the Radiohead concert.

I think the fact you could not separate yourselves even an inch apart is cute. But for the love of GOD, it was 172 degrees in the balcony. I would have pushed Nick Lachey himself away in the heat.

I really hope there was some ecstasy involved in your pre-concert activities. Because if it wasn't, then you are even more schmoopie than I originally believed.

Dude, your Nine Inch Nails shirt was so hot. With your wispy mustache. And Girl, seriously, why would you let someone lick your face? Is that some new foreplay all the kids are doing now?

I was so distracted by your antics -- hi, your heads were right in front of me the whole two hours -- that I have the shape of your combined heads burned into my memory. And just in case I ever forget, I took a picture of you for my scrapbook.



Smooches,
Me

(I had never seen Radiohead before and love love love their music. I even listened to it while in labor. It now ranks as the top concert I have ever seen. Worth every e-bayed penny.)