Keep it clean

Hey Jack. Yeah, you. The little one with the diaper.

Yes, I am talking to you oh swinger in the swing.

Can we talk about the baby drool? It's really cute when you blow bubbles and all. And we find it endearing when you chew your hands and they are all slimy. And we even think it's funny when you slobber on your shirt front now.

But kid, you are cramping my style with the spit on my shoulders. Now in the summer, when it's warm and I don't have sleeves, I am sure it will be fine. I can wipe it right off. No harm, no foul.

But now? When almost my entire wardrobe is black? Yeah the white smudges all over my shoulder are kinda gross.

Yesterday when we went to lunch, I of course didn't give a second thought to my shoulders. For 32 years, my shoulders have gone without notice. But when we saw Daddy, he looked down and tried to wipe off my shirt. And of course, wiping it did nothing. It just made me realize there was white ick on my shirt. So I just went about my business with drool on me.

So, let's see about maybe keeping your spit to yourself next time.

Oh. Also. The cat.

Maybe not so much with the pulling of the fur. Today when you were petting Lucy it was very cute. But when you grabbed a fistful of hair and lifted the skin off her back, well, not so much. Poor Lucy, she likes being petted so much she just laid there and took it.

Then I had to pick the fur out of your hand. Because you now put your hands in your mouth. A lot. And cat fur -- it doesn't taste like chicken my friend.

Besides, knowing your propensity to suck my shoulders, you would just deposit the drool with a side helping of cat hair.