Two Months

Dear Jack,

Today you are two months old. You turned eight weeks old last Wednesday, but because it's easier to go by the date on the calendar, let's call it two months today, mmm-k?


In the last month, you have changed so much. You've gone from a skinny little boy to our little man with the round face and the belly and the fat indentations on your wrists and legs. I thought you would be lean and mean forever, but apparently, the breastmilk does a body good. And now you're rounding out ever so slightly.

Your little personality is still developing, but you showed us your smile for the first time at exactly six weeks old. I was holding you on the couch and Daddy was sleeping on the floor next to your activity mat (you really wore him out playing) when you looked at me and grinned.


It brought tears to my eyes because it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Your dad jumped up to see it after I yelled "He smiled! Josh, he smiled!" and we managed to get a picture of you doing it again.

Secretly, I was so pleased it was me to whom you chose to reveal that first smile. I felt like the most important person in the world and while you could have easily smiled at anyone else, I like to think you chose me because you know I am Mommy.


We're working hard on getting you on a sleep schedule, but you aren't too interested in the napping portion of the plan. It's impossible to get upset with you, though. When you're crying (even if it's the fifth time in an hour) and I pick you up, you immediately calm down and throw your arms on both sides of my neck as if to say "Thank you woman! You have saved me from the sleeping!"

I always kiss you when I pick you up -- no matter if you are cranky, smiley, smelly or sleepy. I want you to feel loved and secure. And if a little kiss can do that, I will gladly give you a thousand little kisses a day.


This week, Daddy thought you were starting to prefer me when you were upset. He had a hard time calming you down one night, and when he handed you over, the crying stopped. He looked a little bummed out, but I assured him, it's only because I have the boobs. It's nothing personal.

We like to call you our little Houdini, because you can get yourself out of almost any swaddle we concoct. You need the swaddling to help you sleep, but you will not stand for it. You want your arms free, but then you flail them and wake yourself up.


Two weeks ago, you Houdini-ed yourself not only out of your swaddle blanket, but also your pajamas. I walked in to your bedroom bleary-eyed at 3:30 a.m. and burst out laughing when I saw your bare arm stuck straight up next to your ear.

You've also developed a taste for your vitamin. Every night, we get out the eye dropper of Tri-Vi-Sol and when the first drop hits your mouth, it's like we've given you candy. You smack your mouth and stick your tongue out trying to get more of this sweet, sweet nectar. We're hoping you feel the same way about broccoli and carrots as you do about this medicine.

One morning last week, you had a very stuffy nose and I was so scared you couldn't breathe. I ran into the bedroom with you and Daddy and I spent a few minutes suctioning out your nose. I never thought I would be so focused on essentially picking someone's nose, but I now attend to the task with great zeal.

We thought the stuffiness might have come from some germs you came into contact with at the museum. We took you there when you were seven weeks old for your first field trip. You saw mummies and dinosaurs, but pretty much slept most of the time. We took you on the El like a regular Chicagoan and I was struck by the thought that someone could just grab you and run away. And I held you a little bit closer after that.


My heart almost stopped when your dad posed you on a bridge railing for a picture with his hand behind your back. I literally felt sick and told him never to do that again. You looked so little and fragile and I freaked out thinking he could have dropped you. Of course he wouldn't have, but that was my first real case of Mommy Overprotectiveness. You'll get more of that as you get older.

Before you were born, I was worried about what kind of mom I would be. I worried I wouldn't bond with you or that I wouldn't know what to do or how to take care of you. I considered myself pretty selfish, so having a baby seemed scary, what with the 24-7 attention babies need.

But I have never been happier. You and I have settled into a comfortable rhythm of feeding and playing and hanging out. You are happy to just stare at me like I am a lunatic when I sing "The Wheels on the Bus" or tell you that there was a dragon on Old McDonald's Farm and it goes "Rar, Rar, Rar."


You look at me with amazement when I tell you stories about what we are going to do that day and grab my hair with both fists when I lean in toward your face. By the way, it hurts when you grab ahold and pull. So let's work on unclenching those fists in month three.

You have learned that you can also grab the breast while you are eating, essentially trying to get as much of it in your possession as possible. You put one hand on each side and pull a bunch of skin toward you. You also like to knead and stroke my skin when you are not trying to shove it all in your mouth. I don't feel special, though, because you do the same thing to Daddy's hand when he feeds you.

Watching you with Daddy is one of my favorite things about being a mom. You two have your own little routines. He bounces you on his knee and hums the "William Tell Overture" and it always calms you down. He is also the one who gets you ready for bed at night. He gets you into your PJs and reads you "Good Night Moon" and rocks you before he hands you off to me for your feeding. He changes his fair share of dirty diapers and he gives you a bottle every night. He plays with you and does the "flying baby" game and gets down on the floor with you for tummy time. He sings to you and reads to you and you couldn't ask for a better dad.


You guys are also "sleep buddies" in the mornings when I have to get up early. I bring you into bed after I feed you and lay you down next to Daddy and he cuddles you in his arm. You both sleep with your arms above your heads and look so peaceful and relaxed when I come back in that I fall in love with both of you a little bit more each time.

Love,
Mommy