An added bonus

This child is trying to bruise me, internally.

Actually, I would not be surprised to see bruises on the outside of my stomach as well. These are violent outbursts.

I wonder if I have somehow offended him. Perhaps I have angered him with my sedentary lifestyle. Maybe he does not like chocolate milk.

But maybe, just maybe, he is trying to make himself some room by shoving the placenta out of the way. You see, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a video of the birth process. And OHMYGOD the placenta.

The Sarcastic Journalist is obsessed with placentas. I always found it amusing that she was so concerned about seeing it after the birth.

Little did I know that is because the thing is HUGE. Gigantic. Big as the baby. I am not kidding.

I made my sister watch the video and she was also freaked the freak out by it. I mean just when you think it's over, you birth something that looks like a major internal organ.

You know, some women save it. They plant it under a tree or something. In some cultures they eat it, my sister informs me. Which led to this exchange over IM today:

Beth: You know, in some cultures, they eat it.
Amy: Yes, I know. I am ignoring that.
Beth: Maybe that is one of the 14 Super Foods?
Beth: Maybe you could make a smoothie out of it?
Amy: I'll take a No. 1 with a Diet Coke. Oh, and extra placenta on the burger please.

Now of course, I want to keep the placenta for practical jokes. You know, wrap it up and give it to my sister for Christmas. Or hide it with the Easter eggs in the spring. Run it up the flagpole on Fourth of July.

A multitude of festive occasions could be enhanced by the placenta.

I may have to resort to a picture of it. Also hours of fun. I can see the flip books now.

"So there's the Blob during his first bath, there's my mom holding the Blob, oh! and there's the placenta! And there's Josh feeding the Blob."