No pain, no gain

You want to know what's fun times? Sitting around with plastic wrap covering your bikini area while you wait for some topical lidocaine to soak into your skin.

That was what I was doing Saturday morning before I went to get lasered by my dermatologist. Not "beam me up Scotty" lasered, but "singe the hair off my body and my God what is that SMELL" lasered.

When you read the ads for laser hair removal, they always say it feels like the snap of a rubberband on your skin. What they neglect to tell you is that they will snap that rubberband a minimum of 50 times and they will snap it in the most sensitive area of your body.

But the sweet, sweet lidocaine dulls that pain substantially. But the very odd side effect is that you really can't feel your skin. A weird sensation.

The other odd thing is that you must apply the cream 90 minutes before your appointment and then cover the area with plastic wrap. It helps keep the cream from coating the inside of your sweats -- and everybody knows, the last thing you want is sweatpants that can't feel anything.

So I got myself all Saran-wrapped and proceded to waddle around the house, because obviously, you can't walk normally with a half roll of plastic shrink-wrapping wound around your thighs and hips.

Did I overdo it? Perhaps. But you can never be too careful.

The lasering commenced with little pain. Well except for the painful conversation I had with the doctor. I mean really, what can you talk about with a man who is staring intently with magnifying glasses at your crotch and inflicting pain on you?

There's not too much ground to cover -- how are ya, how bout them Cubs, think it's going to warm up anytime soon -- and it was over. Minimum pain, maximum gain. Thanks Doc.

Maybe next time, we can tackle nose hair or something equally as fun.